Why
do so many women complain that they're unable to achieve orgasms? Why
are beauty magazines screaming with advice, all vying to get your
attention, on how best to reach a mindblowing climax? Why do some women
fail to enjoy lovemaking sessions?
Clinical Psychologist
Seema Hingorany says a fear of getting pregnant or being exposed to a
sexually transmitted disease can interfere with a woman's sexual
pleasure. Female orgasmic disorder is a fairly common sexual disorder
that affects the way a woman climaxes during sexual activity. Women are
unable to experience an orgasm despite adequate sexual arousal. "Educate
yourself regarding safe sex practices. Stress can also lower
testosterone. Making love is not something we are born knowing — one has
to learn how to give and receive sexual stimulation and satisfaction.
Due to a variety of reasons — cultural, religious and personal — some
women are uncomfortable discussing and exploring the sexual techniques
that might bring on or intensify an orgasm. Many women don't view sex as
a normal and enjoyable part of a relationship. They may associate sex
with shame, guilt or fear," says Seema.
Senior Sex Therapist
and Counsellor Dr Rajan B. Bhonsle says that inability to reach an
orgasm is very common amongst women. "It either stems from your own deep
rejection of your sexuality, or as a result of a moralistic upbringing.
At times, there is a physical problem that prevents woman from reaching
orgasms. With some guidance most of them can learn how to achieve one,"
says Dr Bhonsle.
Multiple orgasms Women
can enjoy multiple orgasms as their body needs no time to reset sexual
drives after an orgasm. Given the significance of intercourse, and the
way it is depicted in movies, many couples have an unrealistic
expectation of it. Many young women are confused and puzzled when they
try it a few times and do not find it as delightful and fascinating for
them as they expected.
Sexual dysfunctions
"Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD) is characterised by lack of
sexual desire, decreased libido and lack of lubrication, causing
difficult or painful intercourse or the inability to climax. Any one or a
combination of these symptoms can hinder a woman from having a
satisfying sexual alliance," says Dr Bhonsle.
Homeopath and
Clinical Psychologist Dr Kanan Khatau Chikhal says that while therapy
can help, it is also important that couples take an extra initiative to
be more intimate. "Women should realise that it's fine to tell their
partners what stimulates them. The Keigel Exercise although devised for
women with urinary trouble, is also helpful. It includes contracting the
vagina and relaxing it about 60 - 70 times a day.
Treatment
A therapist will explore issues in your past and encourage you to
become familiar with your body and what pleases you sexually. Books and
videos are often helpful. Certain techniques are often successful in
helping a woman learn how to have orgasms. There is no one right way to
experience sexual pleasure — one must adapt their lovemaking style to
best suit their needs.
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